Mar
10
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The Pursuit of Love Well, yesterday evening was certainly eventful. Long story short; my stalker’s in town. Rather than go into the story behind the stalking, you can refer to my The Pursuit of Love category – where you’ll gain more insight on this man that started out as my *angel.* He was waiting in my driveway after work yesterday. And believe me, it wasn’t the time to come-a-stalkin’ – work was intense. I’m recycling a tweet, but I believe the many years of being fucked over by men all came out in that moment. I got of the car, threw my bag down, and got up in his face. Let me first say this, I DO NOT enjoy getting angry. I can’t even remember the last time I yelled like that. It got so heated, that the neighbors asked if I wanted them to call the Po Po. I really do have good neighbors – very attentive. Well, they really didn’t have a choice, the next block probably heard me yelling. I’m just glad he’s leaving today. He also promised me I would never hear from him again. Here’s hoping….
The battle in the driveway got me thinking more about change. Actually, I’ve been thinking about it ever since my ex – and longest relationship to date – has come back into the picture. By the way, what is up with the past coming back to visit? You really have to stop and ask yourself, why (well, I do anyway … I don’t really believe in coincidence.) The ex and I have been working at building a friendship over the past few months, and even hung out a few times (but always with a group of people.) It’s been really nice. It’s been a little over 6 years since we broke up, but based on past experiences, I’ve learned a major lesson when it comes to people in general: they don’t change. I grew a tad cynical when it comes to relationships, and even lost a tremendous amount of hope in finding one. Baby Jesus knows, I’ve run the gamut. I’m also really fine alone. I enjoy it. I have no desire to pursue a relationship in Cleveland, I’m open to it, but it’s definitely not a priority. I’d much rather leave that option for NY. I was talking to a good friend of mine about this ex file, and how unsure I was about hanging out with him alone – especially after he told me he still has feelings for me. My biggest fear is hurting him – he is a sweet man. I told my friend that as much as I would enjoy hanging out with him, I just don’t believe people change. And then she raised an excellent point: “well Christian, you changed.” Oh, snap! Four words that me think for over week. While I agree with her on the *I* changed part, I believe deep down that I was always the same man – with a shitload of feelings - at heart. I just grew up. Does that make sense? I guess it comes down to trust; giving people the benefit of the doubt. What do you think: can you really become friends with an ex? Does it have to be a modified friendship, where you only hang out with the ex in a group? Isn’t that a lot of work?
Mar
10
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inc News
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Mar
09
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inc News,
incYourself Book I’ve been thinking a lot about the business environment these days; particularly on the client side. I’ve been in the publishing industry for 18 years now, and I’ve seen some incredible shifts in the industry: printing & mailing costs going through the roof, the transition from print media to digital media, the economy bottoms out, cutting employees (which means your workload increases); it’s been one crazy ride. But something else has changed – attitudes of clients’, specifically with agencies. And there’s nothing I loathe more than using the economy as an excuse. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the “E” word. And you know what, it’s getting old. How are we going to change when we keep looking back? Yes, it’s our reality, but what ever happened to changing our perspective and working with what we DO have. Ever since I took over for the VP in Digital Network Sales (selling across our 130+ websites) I’ve experienced some thoughtless behavior. It makes me sad. A recent example: the former VP lost one of our biggest clients – Verizon Wireless. I made it my goal to win the business back, and after several phone calls and network updates, they contacted me to submit a proposal for Q2. I was so excited! I worked on it for a solid day and took it home to have it finished before their deadline. Unfortunately, my ambition went unnoticed. The next morning I received an email from the media planner on the account, saying: “thank you for submitting the proposal, we will send a formal RFP (request for proposal) tomorrow morning.” I know, that’s what I thought. Why did she have me submit a proposal – which included 38 sites - when she knew RFP’s were going out the very next morning? My scorpion tale came out a little with my reply to the RFP: “thank you for the RFP. It looks like we’re dealing with the same target audience as the first proposal I submitted, so I’ll just go ahead and copy that information to this new RFP template. Thank you.” DOH! Yes, I still believe the old adage: “the customer is always right,” but this has been going on for far too long, and across the board. It’s the mentality of; well, things are bad right now and they should be grateful for the business. Of course I’m grateful, but that doesn’t give us license to treat each other unfairly. Does it? And believe me, I know it’s “just business”, but perhaps if we change that perspective we’ll see a bigger change overall. We spend a majority of our lives working, why not do it with a little more awareness? It’s about respect. So, I ask you; When it comes to business, does respect really have to take a back seat?
Mar
09
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inc News
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Mar
08
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Films/Tube,
Xian Reco's Happy Monday, little monsters! Once again, the weekend went by entirely too fast. It was a beautiful one here in Cleveland Ohio – sunny all weekend. Score! Speaking of monsters, I watched Where the Wild Things Are yesterday. AMAZING. I never read the book growing up, but after seeing the movie, it’s the next book on my list. I’m also going to add it to my DVD library; a must-have! And choosing Spike Jonze as the director was brilliant; he really captures Max’s – the main character – imagination. It’s like you’re taking the journey along with him: into a forest inhabited by wild creatures. * Trippy lookin’ creatures, I might add.* They crown Max their king – the ruler of their world. You also make the connection between Max’s imagination and his emotional turmoil- his struggle as a young boy to gain acceptance from family (I’m sure that element was added by Spike.) But what better way to escape your prepubescent nightmare than to tap into your imagination. The film made me long for the mindset of childhood - a time when things were simpler. When you could tap into your imagination to release the pain. To create a fantasy world where you are the ruler. So much creative freedom. I remember building forts out of sheets with my little brothers. It was our fortress. I would love to play make- believe if I could get away with it, but I don’t think it would go over so well if someone came over and I had a fort set up in my living room. Can you imagine? LOL… I just LOVE the film, so much so I watched it 3 times in a row yesterday - well, the third time I was switching between the movie and the Oscars. I’ll sum up the Oscars right quick: yawn. And who chose Crackie … I mean … Kathy Ireland for the pre-show interviews?! Silly, silly, HWood.
It’s time for your reviews: what did you think of the film (if you’ve seen it yet.) Did you read the book? Tell me about your experience with the Wild Things….
One of my favorite quotes from the film: KW (one of the creatures – played by Lauren Ambrose) : “I don’t want you to go, I’ll eat you up, I love you so.” <3
Mar
08
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Mar
07
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Dreams In Writing The time I woke up from a horrible nightmare. And the star in my nightmare: the man I went to see in Oklahoma last June. If you want a recap on this visit (my journey to love in general) you can visit my Pursuit of Love category. You may want to set aside a substantial amount of time to sort through the category. But first, let’s get back to the nightmare. We took a a cross country road trip together. It was really nice to see his face again, but that all changed as we were driving down a seriously dark country road. He started yelling at me for not moving to Oklahoma to be with him. I couldn’t believe he brought this up when all I ever wanted was to be with him – I wasn’t going to let geography stand in the way. I was yelling right back at him and he wasn’t paying any attention to the road. It may have been a dark country road, but there were so many cars coming at us – that’s when I started to freak out. We pulled over and he got up in my face and started to strangle me. This is when I woke up because I seriously felt like I couldn’t breathe. As if the nightmare wasn’t bad enough, when I woke up I looked at my alarm clock and it was 3:33. And for those of you who know me well, you know I look at that time as crucial: a time when the supernatural comes out to play. Yes, I believe in the paranormal. You think it just ends when we’re six feet under? Not so much. If we haven’t fulfilled our purpose here, we go on. That’s what I believe, anyway. I was thinking more about the nightmare and I know exactly where it came from. I never had my moment of closure with him. To express my hurt and anger. Of course it manifested through a nightmare. Maybe I need to reach out to him..but then again..maybe not. I just hope he doesn’t come back to visit me again this way. Yuck. BUT, I’m not going to let a nightmare ruin my Sunday, my favorite day. We’re also blessed with more sunshine today – an even bigger reason to enjoy the day. Nightmares be gone * cleanses home with sage stick *…
PS: I need to thank @uschles, one of my Twitter cohorts, for talking me through the nightmare!
Mar
07
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Mar
06
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Books,
Films/Tube your table’s ready….
That table’s reserved for me. I didn’t go out last night. After the crazy day at work, completing all my household chores, and walking Isaak and Ian (the boy I’m babysitting) I just didn’t have the energy to pull it all together. BUT, I did enjoy a great night nonetheless – watched a classic movie: Less Than Zero – one of my favorite films. I forgot how intense it is – Robert Downey Jr.’s performance is a killer. And the outfits..haha..classic 80s. Sorry youngsters, you may not remember the film, we’re going back to ‘87. You should see it though, great performances. I also had some pizza to go along with it – from Ohio City Pizza. Best pizza ever. I will miss it when I move. I’ve become friends with the woman that pretty much runs the shop: Birdie. Yep, that’s her name. She has my order and address memorized. She is a sweetheart. All in all, it was a great night. I went to bed kind of early, I’ve been consumed with a new book: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo~ Stieg Larson. I can’t put it down. It’s so nice to escape in a good book. And now I face another sunny day in Cleveland – Spring is right around the corner! I’m in the mood to do a little shopping…maybe Target. All I know is I want to get out today. What’s your plan? Whatever it is, enjoy your day! XOs…little monsters!
Mar
06
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inc News
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